Am I a buzzkill?

You want a drink?

"Nah, I'm good, thanks, man."

But then it hits me—am I bringing down the vibe? These are my friends, and I don’t want to be the one dampening the mood. Reducing my drinking is hard enough, but the last thing I want is to be seen as the buzzkill. Maybe just one drink won’t hurt…

"Actually, I'll have one."

But we all know how it goes. One turns into two, and before I know it, I’m back in the cycle. I wake up with a hangover and a familiar sense of regret. And it all started because I didn’t want to let my friends down.

The Cycle: I used to find myself in this loop: feeling like I’m the one dragging everyone down if I didn't drink, so I'd give in. But the next day, I’d wonder—was that really necessary?

Strategy: The Spotlight Effect

The Spotlight Effect is a cognitive bias that makes us overestimate how much others notice or care about our actions. We’re so focused on our own behavior that we assume everyone else is too. But here’s the truth: everyone else is caught up in their own world, just like we are.

While I’m over here worrying about being the buzzkill, my friends are preoccupied with their own thoughts:

• "Is this the right shirt for tonight?"

• "Maybe I should cut back on drinking too."

• "How am I going to approach that girl?"

• "Ugh, work’s going to suck on Monday…"

  
  

The reality is, they’re not paying as much attention to me as I think.

The Shift: Once I realized this, it was like a weight lifted. I understood that no one really cares if I’m drinking or not—they have their own stuff going on. This realization allowed me to let go of that self-imposed pressure and just enjoy the moment, drink or no drink.

Outcome: The outcome? Freedom. I no longer feel the need to drink just to fit in or keep the vibe up. I can be present, have fun, and still wake up the next day feeling good about my choices.

Favorite Photo from the Week:

It's been perfect hiking weather up here in Montana, so last week Kel and I hiked along GNP. The elevation gain was tough, but the views made it worth it!

Till next week, be kind, be curious, and work hard.

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